Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Apple + Intel = M$ Conspiracy Theory

Filed under
Humor

Shouting "I told you so!" and "The end is near!", staff members of the Humorix Vast Conspiracy Theory Research Division were shocked and appalled by the news that Apple is going to start shacking up with Intel.

The "Inpple" development fits perfectly with our Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #36,712,380, the most sinister conspiracy theory ever devised by Humorix that hasn't been discredited within five minutes. Ever since Microsoft invested $250 million in Apple in 1997, the company that wants you to "Think Different" has been thinking more and more along the same old lines as Microsoft.

"It's all fitting into place," said Mennon Black, head conspiriologist. "With Apple joining Intel, and Sun laying down arms against Microsoft, the vastly inferior Wintel world has just achieved total world domination. I knew this was going to happen."

It should come as no surprise that the unholy alliance of Apple's Reality Distortion Field and Intel's Stupid Four-Bar Jingle Inside will provide a win-win situation for Microsoft. For those brave souls that decide to try Mac OS X-86 Edition, they can always wipe the hard drive and install Windows if they don't like Apple's operating system.

Meanwhile, Microsoft can cut costs by getting rid of its "problem customers" that are always pestering tech support with their petty complaints about corrupted registries or spyware programs that distribute child porn. Now these customers will be shunted to Intel-based Macs, but they will still buy plenty of other Microsoft products that will be readily available for X-86.

Either way, Microsoft wins.

Full Article.

More in Tux Machines

European Greens RFC: ‘Transparency implies use of open source’

The Greens/European Free Alliance in the European Parliament want to find out for once and for all if the use of free and open source software is essential for the democratic institution. The political group is asking for comments on a study linking the use of free software to the European Parliament’s principles of openness and right to information. Read more

Top 3 open source alternatives to Google Analytics

Let’s start off by taking a look at the open source application that rivals Google Analytics for functions: Piwik. Piwik does most of what Google Analytics does, and chances are it packs the features that you need. Those features include metrics on the number of visitors hitting your site, data on where they come from (both on the web and geographically), from what pages they leave your site, and the ability to track search engine referrals. Piwik also has a number of reports and you can customize the dashboard to view the metrics that you want to see. To make your life easier, Piwik integrates with over 65 content management, ecommerce, and online forum systems like WordPress, Magneto, Joomla!, and vBulletin using plugins. With anything else, you just need to add a tracking code to a page on your site. Read more

AN EARLY VIEW OF GTK+ 3.16

We’ve had long-standing feature requests to turn scrollbars into overlayed indicators, for touch systems. An implementation of this idea has been merged now. We show traditional scrollbars when a mouse is detected, otherwise we fade in narrow, translucent indicators. The indicators are rendered on top of the content and don’t take up extra space. When you move the pointer over the indicator, it turns into a full-width scrollbar that can be used as such. Read more