Short bio: Computer Scientist, FOSS supporter (read more)
Tux Machines (TM)-specific
I've used quite a few linux distros in my time. Recently it occurred to me what they would look like if they were beautiful, attractive women. I think perhaps I've spent too much time on the computer, eh? Anyway, I've made a list. Tell me what you think!
If Linux Distros were women:
Redhat would be a gorgous, expensive hooker. She'd do whatever you wanted, and do it well. You'll be left satisfied, but you'll have no idea how she did it. If you needed help with her, there are many paid phone numbers you can call to chat about her.
Fedora Core would be just as good as Redhat, but wouldn't cost you a dime.
CentOS would look just like Fedora Core, except... Except it would look just like Fedora Core.
Suse would be a moderately attractive hooker. She wouldn't be quite as good as Redhat, but there are still lots of fun paid phone numbers for you to call.
OpenSuse would be every bit as good as Suse, but wouldn't cost you a penny.
Debian Sarge would be a 50 year old lady. She'd cook, clean, and iron better than any other the other linux distros, would have no moodswings whatsoever, and would have a life expectancy of 157 years. There'd be plenty of people willing to help you maintain her, and they'd all be fairly knowledgable.
Debian Etch would be exactly like Debian Sarge, except that she'd be the spritely young age of 40.