Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Google Announces Search Engine Entering Beta

Filed under
Humor

During a press conference at Google Auditorium #5 (the one next to the climbing wall gym), the management of Google made an unexpected announcement that will shake the Internet to its core routers: the Google search engine has finally emerged from Alpha testing and is now considered a Beta product.

"After extensive testing over the last decade, we are pleased to announce that Google Search has earned the rank of Beta and will enter its final Q&A phases, expected to last until 2012," boasted Mr. Dewno Eville, Google's Director of Public Relations.

The crowd sat motionless for several awkward seconds until somebody timidly asked, "Does this mean the world's most popular search engine has been merely an Alpha product all this time?"

"Yes... yes it has," Eville responded matter-of-factly.

"This is a joke, right?" asked a reporter.

"No."

"You're absolutely positive about this?" asked another reporter.
"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Really with a cherry on top?"

"Yes, dammit, really!"

"There's got to be a typo in your announcement. Are you sure?"

"Yes, do I need to break out my trusty cluestick and beat you all over the head? Repeat after me: BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA!!!"

Everybody in the audience was too stunned to repeat after him. After several more seconds of head scratching and picking jaws off the floor by the audience, another reporter demanded, "So let me get this straight. For the last decade, Google has been running a scam designed to fool people into relying on a service that was not considered ready for prime-time by its own developers and contains countless bugs and problems. Right?"

"Uh... I fail to see the problem. After all, the same strategy has worked beautifully for Microsoft. I mean... who in their right mind would ever rate Windows as Beta, much less Production, quality?"

After some tentative laughter from the crowd, Eville quickly jumped into the rest of his announcement.

Full Article.

re: Oh man...

teehee Big Grin Yeah, that site cracks me up!

----
You talk the talk, but do you waddle the waddle?

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

More in Tux Machines

Android/Google Leftovers

3 open source alternatives to Office 365

It can be hard to get away from working and collaborating on the web. Doing that is incredibly convenient: as long as you have an internet connection, you can easily work and share from just about anywhere, on just about any device. The main problem with most web-based office suites—like Google Drive, Zoho Office, and Office365—is that they're closed source. Your data also exists at the whim of large corporations. I'm sure you've heard numerous stories of, say, Google locking or removing accounts without warning. If that happens to you, you lose what's yours. So what's an open source advocate who wants to work with web applications to do? You turn to an open source alternative, of course. Let's take a look at three of them. Read more

Hackable voice-controlled speaker and IoT controller hits KS

SeedStudio’s hackable, $49 and up “ReSpeaker” speaker system runs OpenWrt on a Mediatek MT7688 and offers voice control over home appliances. The ReSpeaker went live on Kickstarter today and has already reached 95 percent of its $40,000 funding goal with 29 days remaining. The device is billed by SeedStudio as an “open source, modular voice interface that allows us to hack things around us, just using our voices.” While it can be used as an Internet media player or a voice-activated IoT hub — especially when integrated with Seeed’s Wio Link IoT board — it’s designed to be paired with individual devices. For example, the campaign’s video shows the ReSpeaker being tucked inside a teddy bear or toy robot, or attached to plant, enabling voice control and voice synthesis. Yes, the plant actually asks to be watered. Read more

Security News