Google Announces Search Engine Entering Beta
During a press conference at Google Auditorium #5 (the one next to the climbing wall gym), the management of Google made an unexpected announcement that will shake the Internet to its core routers: the Google search engine has finally emerged from Alpha testing and is now considered a Beta product.
"After extensive testing over the last decade, we are pleased to announce that Google Search has earned the rank of Beta and will enter its final Q&A phases, expected to last until 2012," boasted Mr. Dewno Eville, Google's Director of Public Relations.
The crowd sat motionless for several awkward seconds until somebody timidly asked, "Does this mean the world's most popular search engine has been merely an Alpha product all this time?"
"Yes... yes it has," Eville responded matter-of-factly.
"This is a joke, right?" asked a reporter.
"You're absolutely positive about this?" asked another reporter.
"Really with a cherry on top?"
"Yes, dammit, really!"
"There's got to be a typo in your announcement. Are you sure?"
"Yes, do I need to break out my trusty cluestick and beat you all over the head? Repeat after me: BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA!!!"
Everybody in the audience was too stunned to repeat after him. After several more seconds of head scratching and picking jaws off the floor by the audience, another reporter demanded, "So let me get this straight. For the last decade, Google has been running a scam designed to fool people into relying on a service that was not considered ready for prime-time by its own developers and contains countless bugs and problems. Right?"
"Uh... I fail to see the problem. After all, the same strategy has worked beautifully for Microsoft. I mean... who in their right mind would ever rate Windows as Beta, much less Production, quality?"
After some tentative laughter from the crowd, Eville quickly jumped into the rest of his announcement.