So you’re ready to try Linux but you don’t have a DVD burner or the ability to download large files. What’s a body to do? Well, you can try the Zonbu notebook, a fairly inexpensive Everex laptop with 1.5GHz VIA C7-M and 512MB and 60GB of hard drive space and running Zonbu OS, a Gentoo Linux variant with a full set of open source productivity and gaming apps.

Who is the Zonbu for? It’s not for you. It’s for other people. The notebook isn’t slim — it’s 1.5 inches thick and weighs 5 pounds. It’s not powerful — the VIA chip is sufficient and very low power but you’re not going to be rendering Toy Story IV on here. It lasts about 1 hour and 30 minutes in a DVD playback test — AKA not so good. The version of Linux it runs is fairly speedy and has Vista-eqsue eye candy and, like all entry-level Linux installs all the hard stuff is hidden deep within the OS, ensuring that no one will ever type “rm -rf /” accidentally or, more importantly, install a virus or adware.

The Zonbu notebook costs $279 with a 2-year $14.95/month subscription to Zonbu’s update and storage service. This, clearly, is Zonbu’s real MO. They offer unlimited support and upgrades along with 50GB of Amazon S3-based storage. If you opt out of all of the support, you pay $479 for a fairly basic laptop.

Here’s the rub, kids.