Senator Seriously Injured After Jumping Off Cliff
In a bizarre incident last week, U.S. Senator Fattecat (R-Washington State) fell off a 30-foot high cliff and sustained several broken bones. His spokesperson claims that the whole thing was "an accident", but the Humorix Vast Spy Network(tm) has uncovered the real reason for the cliff jump: the MPAA told him to.
"One of Fattecat's handlers at the MPAA told him to jump off a cliff, and he did it," said an anonymous source who wished to remain anonymous. "What choice did he have? He's always done everything the MPAA and RIAA want, and in return he's always been re-elected -- despite his gross incompetence."
However, another source told a different story to the VSN. "It was all a misunderstanding. Instead of jumping off a cliff, the MPAA bosses wanted Fattecat to 'jump on the CLIFF', referring to a piece of upcoming legislation dubbed the CLIFF Act...