Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Dateline 2011: Theater Not Responsible For Customer's Head Exploding

Filed under
Humor

The following story may or may not appear in the Nov. 13, 2011, issue of the New York Daily Fishwrap newspaper:

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Supreme Court Sponsored By Coca-Cola ruled today that Gouge's Movie Theater of Sillycon Valley, California, is not responsible for the death of eight-year-old Eric Glueckless even though it was their EMP pulse that literally caused his head to explode.

Since 2008, all movie theaters have routinely dispatched an electro-magnetic pulse before each screening to destroy any unauthorized recording devices (cameras, cell phones, wristwatches, etc.) that customers may have brought into the theater in violation of federal law. As it turns out, the theater's EMP gun also causes vision implants to explode.

Full Story.

More in Tux Machines

GNOME Recipes and Outreachy

  • Recipes for you and me
    Since I’ve last written about recipes, we’ve started to figure out what we can achieve in time for GNOME 3.24, with an eye towards delivering a useful application. The result is this plan, which should be doable.
  • Outreachy (GNOME)-W5&W6
    My plan was altered in this two-week, because the strings of GNOME 3.24 have not frozen yet and the maintainers of Chinese localization group told me the Extra GNOME Applications are more necessary to be translated than documents, so I began to translate the Extra GNOME Applications (stable) during this period.
  • [Older] Outreachy (GNOME)-W3&W4
    During this period, I finished the UI translation of GNOME 3.22, I’m waiting to reviewed and committed now, and I met some troubles and resolved them these days.

Home Recording with Ubuntu Studio Part One: Gearing Up

Twenty years ago, the cost of building a studio for the creation of electronic music was pricey, to say the least. The cost of a computer that was suitable for multimedia production could cost the average musician between $1,000 and $2,000. Add in the cost of recording software, additional instruments and equipment, and one could easily spend between $5,000 and $10,000 just to get started. But nowadays, you do not have to break the bank to start making music at home. The price of personal computers has dropped substantially over the past two decades. At the time of this writing, it is possible to get a notebook PC that’s suitable for audio production for around $500. Other pieces of equipment have also dropped in price, making it possible to build a functional recording studio for around $1,000. (Read the rest)

Leftovers: Gaming

Red Hat and Fedora