Survey: Evil Geniuses Less Interested In World Domination
Facing growing expenses and a lack of motivation, many of the world's leading evil geniuses and conspirators are no longer plotting world domination, according to a new survey conducted by the US Census Bureau.
"World domination has always been the holy grail of organized crime, but it's becoming harder and harder to achieve domination over even a single county or region," said Kahn Speerator, founder of the Criminal Mastermind Shopping Club. "And with rising expenses -- hired goons and henchmen are commanding the highest wages in history -- the entire industry is really feeling the pinch."
Mennon Black, chief conspiriologist for Humorix, argues that the Census numbers are probably wrong. "Only an idiot evil genius reports their activities to the Census Bureau!
Nevertheless, many former criminal masterminds have stepped forward to discuss their transition back into more acceptable trades, such as used car salesmen or software patent attorneys.