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Secret Future Ubuntu User Interface Plans Revealed!

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Humor

Recently, a really, really long discussion took place on Launchpad, Ubuntu's bug-tracking system, about the Ubuntu user interface design team's sudden and controversial decision to move window buttons from the right-hand side to the left. It's been widely reported that Mark Shuttleworth, Ubuntu's "SABDFL" (a South African word which roughly translates in English to "BADASS"), announced in response to numerous complaints that "Ubuntu is not a democracy."

Mr. Shuttleworth also said that "moving everything to the left opens up the space on the right nicely,and I would like to experiment in 10.10 with some innovative options there. It's much easier to do that if we make this change now."

But what "innovative options" might he be referring to?

To find out, we contacted Ubuntu's NADOPR (North American Director of Public Relations), Bea Esser, for clarification. Ms. Esser put us in contact with a member of Ubuntu's design team, Drew A. Gooey-Aubergine, who gave us an exclusive look at what innovative new features Ubuntu users might see on the right-hand side of their windows in future releases.

 

For example, there might be an implementation of a boss key by means of the face icon in the upper right-hand corner. In this use-case scenario, explained Mr. Gooey-Aubergine, when you clicked the icon your screen would immediately display the following:

"There's nothing that will convince your boss you're working," explained Mr. Gooey-Aubergine, "like the familiar sight of a real operating system like Windows XP."

 

According to Mr. Gooey-Aubergine, Mark Shuttleworth has been asking all Ubuntu teams to come up with possible ways to increase revenue. "That's a real natural for us, as opposed to, say, those eggheads in the kernel team," said Mr. Gooey-Aubergine. "We've been expecting this request for a long time now."

One possible way would be through a PayPal link.

 

And there's the tried-and-true Google Ads. "These would only be displayed if there was an active Internet connection," explained Mr. Gooey-Aubergine, "making these double as a sort of Network Monitor."

 

Finally, Mr. Gooey-Aubergine seemed to be the most excited about the possibility of adding an Ubuntu Menu. "Think of all the things we could do with that!" he exclaimed. "We could be the first Linux distribution bundled with a one-click "Upgrade to Debian" feature! Although," he admitted, "we haven't passed that one by Mark yet." Nor. as it turned out, had he asked Mr. Shuttleworth about the "uninstall" option.

We'll have more reporting on this exciting story as it develops. In the meantime, what would you want to see in an Ubuntu window? Feel free to add your comments!

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Ubuntu has lost touch with reality and is dying

Great satire piece - and as with great satire, there are many grains of truth. And some of your "suggestions" could turn into really useful ideas.

That said, I have been saddened by Ubuntu for the past two releases...and the silliness being displayed by the leadership on this design issue makes me fear for the development of this project. Having used both eeebuntu (EB3) and Ubuntu Eee (easy peasy), I am very excited about eebuntu's move to debian. Ubuntu is getting too large for its own britches...and I truly hope the new version is amazing...but I won't hold my breath.

Haha..I do like the article,

Haha..I do like the article, thanks for that.

However I have to disagree with the poster above. I don't think that Ubuntu has lost touch with reality, I think it's the users and critics that have. The fact is, Ubuntu is NOT democracy, nor' are they bound to the terms/standards handed out by users. Granted, it's nice to listen to the people, and consider their suggestions-- but the fact is, they have to make their own choices. As said by Shuttleworth himself, they are not a democracy..and it's all very true. They've never been a democracy, and they never will be. This goes for all companies..including Novel, KDE, etc. You can't just put out an idea and expect it to always be implemented. It doesn't work that way..unless you own YOUR own company.

I also think, however..that people are seriously over-reacting to the button placing. Who's to say it will be permanent? Maybe they simply want to try it out? Give it a chance maybe? I mean seriously..calm down people Big Grin..and if it doesn't work to your liking, and it sucks..and they fail to listen to everyone in the future..move on.

It's Open Source, If You Recall...

Just change the buttons back yourself. See here: www.howtogeek.com/howto/13535/move-window-buttons-back-to-the-right-in-ubuntu-10.04/

Many a true word spoken in jest...

The notion that good ole 'Bunty may someday become adware - carrying Google adds or links to PayPal - is utterly horrific! Methinks I will be joining lots of folks and hitting the mythical "Upgrade to Debian" button if that ever comes to pass. lol. Big Grin

Alternatively, "sudo apt-get install adblock-for-ubuntu" anyone? Devil

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