Welcome To The World Of Drive-Through Law Offices
In what could be the First Sign of the Apocalypse, a Utah entrepreneur has opened the world's first drive-through law office. With the ability to serve six lanes of traffic at the same time, the new "Stop 'N Sue" center hopes to make filing for a lawsuit as easy as picking up a hamburger.
"We're trying to take the torture out of tort law," said Ernest Lionel, the brainchild behind the patent-pending Stop 'N Sue system. He added, "Wow, that's a great line I just made up. I'll have to remember to trademark it during my lunch break. Speaking of trademarks, we're running a one-day-only 50% off special on all trademark applications..."
When a customer first pulls in, they see a large menu board advertising the company's specialties, including divorce petitions, wills (in medium, large, and extra-large sizes), and even a combo deal that allows great-grandmothers to defend themselves against unjust RIAA lawsuits while receiving a free tax shelter.
"For too long, the American legal system has been unreachable to the average American."