Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Truths

Filed under
Humor

My sister forwarded this to me and since things are so dismal in the world these days, I thought a few chuckles might be the order of the day:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever..

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.

25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies, quit laughing!

More in Tux Machines

today's leftovers

  • Xiaomi is rumored to be working on a Laptop... running Linux!
  • Xiaomi aims to knock Apple off its branch with move into computers
  • Xiaomi's Macbook Pro killer will run Linux
    Xiaomi is known for its popular clones of Apple's iPhone and iPad. Now the Chinese company is rumored to be working on a Linux-based alternative to Apple's Macbook Pro laptop.
  • Acer Announces Predator 8 Gaming Tablet With Intel Atom x7 And Android 5.1
  • Acer Predator 8: A $299 Android gaming tablet
    Acer is launching its first Android tablet designed for gaming. The company’s been showing off the device for months, but now it’s official: the Acer Predator 8 is a tablet with an 8-inch IPS display, an Intel Atom x7 Cherry Trail processor, and a $299 price tag.
  • Acer Launch New $299 Convertible Chromebook
  • Acer offers convertible Chromebook for $299
    Chromebooks have been burning up the sales charts on Amazon. And now convertible Chromebooks seem to be where the market is headed. Acer has jumped on the convertible bandwagon by announcing the Chromebook R11. This new model offers notebook and tablet functionality built into one Chromebook.
  • Linux Foundation is giving away Chromebooks
    The Linux Foundation, the nonprofit organization that sponsors Linus Torvalds and runs many programs to accelerate the growth of Linux, is now giving away free Chromebooks to those who enroll in one of its training courses during September. Free Chromebook. To everyone. Throughout September. The foundation has chosen Dell’s Chromebook 11 for this program. The $299 Chromebook features a 11.6" display, is powered by 1.4Ghz processor, and comes with 4GB of RAM.
  • CloudRouter now live
    The collaborative open-source CloudRouter project has come out of beta.
  • Linux Kernel Engineer opportunity at Collabora!
    Collabora is a software consultancy specialising in bringing companies and the open source software community together and it is currently looking for a Core Software Engineer, that works in the Linux kernel and/or all the plumbing around the kernel. In this role the engineer will be part of worldwide team who works with our clients to solve their Linux kernel and low level stack technical problems.
  • DevOps: An Introduction
    Not too long ago, software development was done a little differently. We programmers would each have our own computer, and we would write code that did the usual things a program should do, such as read and write files, respond to user events, save data to a database, and so on. Most of the code ran on a single computer, except for the database server, which was usually a separate computer. To interact with the database, our code would specify the name or address of the database server along with credentials and other information, and we would call into a library that would do the hard work of communicating with the server. So, from the perspective of the code, everything took place locally. We would call a function to get data from a table, and the function would return with the data we asked for. Yes, there were plenty of exceptions, but for many application-based desktop applications, this was the general picture.
  • The Comparison and Context of Unikernels and Containers
    Talk about unikernels is starting to gain momentum. Still, these are such early days for this technology that implements the bare minimum of the traditional operating system functions. Its functionality is a topic we discussed last month in a post by Russell Pavlicek of Citrix. As Pavlicek wrote, unikernels implement the bare minimum of the traditional operating system functions — just enough to enable the application it powers.
  • FISH – A smart and user-friendly command line shell for Linux
  • This is what we do if someone offers us some constructive criticism
    We in KDE don’t ignore constructive feedback, so at Akademy, we set out to find solutions to the issues he pointed out. In order to maximize the reach of our efforts’ documentation, I decided to write a two-part series about it over at Linux Veda, a “web-magazine to share and spread knowledge about Linux and Open Source technologies” which has always been very interested in – and generally supportive of – KDE.
  • Calligra 2.9.7 Open-Source Office Suite Adds Multiple Kexi and Krita Improvements
  • [Krita] Updating the Shop!
  • GNOME 3.18 Beta 2 Officially Released, Final Version Coming on September 23
    The GNOME Project sent an email to Softpedia a few minutes ago, informing us of the release of the second Beta build of the upcoming GNOME 3.18 desktop environment, due for release on September 23, 2015.
  • Why Samsung’s new smartwatch doesn’t run Android
    Samsung has released some more information on its next generation of smartwatches, the Gear S2. Unlike most of the spate of non-Apple watches being released this week, it’s not running Android Wear. Instead, Samsung has opted to continue using Tizen, the Linux-based operating system that powers its smart TVs and some phones in India.
  • How to Make Unbreakable Passwords In Your Head Using Mental Cryptography
    You're supposed to have distinct passwords for every one of your different accounts, and, what's more, those passwords are supposed to be difficult. Use some numbers and symbols and weird capitalization, they tell us. But it's hard, and so we wind up just using the same password for everything and taking the risk.
  • Thursday's security advisories

today's howtos

Leftovers: Gaming

Leftovers: Red Hat