Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Truths

Filed under
Humor

My sister forwarded this to me and since things are so dismal in the world these days, I thought a few chuckles might be the order of the day:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever..

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.

25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies, quit laughing!

More in Tux Machines

NVIDIA's Linux Driver On Ubuntu 14.10 Can Deliver Better OpenGL Performance Than Windows 8.1

The same Intel Core i7 4770K system used for yesterday's Windows vs. Linux graphics benchmarks were used when benchmarking the GeForce GTX 780 Ti, 970, and 980 graphics cards. Windows 8.1 Pro x64 had all available system updates at the time and was running the NVIDIA 344.48 WHQL binary driver that was their latest release at the time of testing. When running Ubuntu 14.10 x86_64 on the system with its Linux 3.16 kernel, the NVIDIA 343.22 driver was used. The 343.22 driver was the latest publicly available proprietary Linux driver at the time of testing and their first to support the GTX 970/980 under Linux. All of the same hardware was used under each operating system and each OS was with its software default settings as were the driver settings. Read more

Tizen IVI version 3.0 Milestone M3-Oct2014 has been released

As promised, the Tizen IVI team announced the release of the Tizen IVI 3.0-M3-Oct2014 Release for In-Vehicle Infotainment (IVI). The major changes are below: Improved Modello UI experience The OS is available in 32-bit and 64-bit backed by a Long Term Support Initiative Linux kernel. The multi-user application framework has support for single/all-user app deployment scenarios. Developing applications for Modello is easier than ever using the Tizen_IVI_SDK with support for vehicle webAPIs powered by Crosswalk. For lower level development Automotive Message Broker (AMB) contains CAN plugin generator tools and a JavaScript engine for rapid plugin prototyping. System resources are now handled by Murphy. MinnowBoard MAX will run this latest instalment of Tizen IVI 3.0 M3 and offers customers an affordable entry-level SDP. Read more

Linux 3.16.y.z extended stable support

The Ubuntu kernel team is pleased to announce that we will be providing extended stable support for the Linux 3.16 kernel until April 2016 as a third party effort maintained on our infrastructure. The team will pick up stable maintenance where Greg KH left off with v3.16.7 [1]. Thank you, Greg. In addition to the Ubuntu 14.10 "Utopic Unicorn" release, the Debian 8 "Jessie" release will also be based on this kernel [2]. Since the regular support for "Jessie" will go beyond April 2016, after this date Ben Hutchings (or myself) will continue the Linux 3.16 kernel maintenance. Read more

Linux accessory adds web access to dumb cameras

Lumera Labs is aiming to Kickstarter an open source Linux camera attachment for one-click transfers to the cloud via WiFi, plus GPS tagging, HDR, and 3D. We’ve seen a number of pricey, Internet-ready smart cameras, such as the $1,200, Android-based Samsung Galaxy NX, but what if you’re rather fond of your high-quality dumb camera, but wish it was instantly connected to the web? Montreal startup Lumera Labs aims to fill this need with an open source camera attachment called the Lumera that can “support and hold any kind of camera with any type of lens,” thereby providing one-click uploads to web services. Read more