Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Windows Hasta La Vista - Ironclad Security

Filed under
Humor

It has been three long years to the day since we last looked at that unusual distribution called Windows. Although at that time it was considered by many to be little else than a bizarre joke (who on earth would design an operating system that doesn't provide a way to grep files?), a recent rumour about a new release has piqued our curiosity.

Fortunately, Windows XP was still installed on my hard drive. Windows correctly detected the presence of a Linux partition, and the built-in Microsoft Snitchware immediately reported the situation to the Department of Homeland Security. Since installing Linux was a violation of my parole, I was arrested by the FBI and sentenced to a further two years in a federal penitentiary.

All this might sound tragic, but really, it's not. In the end, things worked out for the best. After only one year in prison, I became eligible for a new experimental rehabilitation program. I am happy to report that it's been a great success! After receiving counselling, medication, electroshock therapy and a prefrontal lobotomy, I am once again a happy Windows user.

Full Story.

More in Tux Machines

Ubuntu Touch to Land with Bq Aquaris e4.5 Phones in February

The first two companies that have been confirmed to release phones with Ubuntu Touch are Meizu and Bq. Until now, only Meizu showed any kind of involvement with Ubuntu Touch and they were the first to announce a launch window. On the other hand, Bq has been silent, but it seems to have been very busy and to be the first one out the door. Read more

Linux 3.19 Merge Window Closes Ahead Of Schedule

Linus announced on Friday night that he's closing the merge window early for 3.19. Torvalds said that he's pulling the last of the pull requests on Saturday -- related to KBuild and the READ_ONCE split-up -- but is planning to then close the merge window. Read more

X.Org Server 1.16.3 Released To Fix Security Issues

Julien Cristau of Debian announced the X.Org Server 1.16.3 release on Saturday morning. The primary focus of this release is on correcting the security issues within the GLX, DIX, XV, DRI3, RENDER, and other areas of the xorg-server code-base affected by outstanding security problems. Read more