MIAMI-BASED ANTI-VIDEO GAME lawyer Jack Thompson, owner of Stopkill.com - a website that urges game-addicted children to seek help with their violent problems - stands for morals, and keeping America free of game-influenced attacks and crime. With the despicable appearance of the "hot coffee" mod in the media, the INQ thought it only right to publicise this man's campaign against immoral video games.
On his website, he mentions games such as Grand Theft Auto (big surprise) and Manhunt as being major influences on murder and crime in America. He claims that "two teenage Tennessee snipers" trained obsessively on GTA before going on their "sniping spree." He says: "numerous others have been murdered by teens trained on this game."
Another game used to obsessively train for murder was accurate murder-simulator Doom, says Jack, which the boys behind the Columbine massacre had used - presumably strafing left and right through the Columbine corridors, holding their BFGs up to their square heads.
Jack Thompson, defender of America, is also credited for having rapper Ice T's "cop killer" pulled from the shelves in yet another victory for free speech.
One gamer mentioned to Thompson that he was hooked on Grand Theft Auto, to which he allegedly replied "go buy a suicide simulation game, and get hooked on that".
Gamers are clearly to blame for everything according to Thompson, and we at the INQ agree. As Thompson says, if you have kids, have them start shooting hoops instead of humans. µ