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Humor

Techie Christmas Jokes 2k9 Edition

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Humor

junauza.com: I won't let this holiday season pass without throwing some Christmas jokes for all you techies out there. So get ready to be jolly and enjoy these latest techie Christmas jokes:

Ubuntu backup awesomeness

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Ubuntu
Humor

shanefagan.com: Twas a night before Christmas it was the 12th to be exact at 3 am beside my computer I did sat. My ubuntu did stall, I had pondered and pondered and did a fresh install. Swiftly I got to the the manual partition, then suddenly I had a fine apparition.

Some Old But Still Funny Anti-UNIX Jokes

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Humor

junauza.com: You may have heard a lot of anti-Microsoft jokes before since you can read them everywhere. However, it's pretty rare to find anti-UNIX/Linux jokes.

I am the very model of an open source sensational

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Humor

toolbox.com/blogs: With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan. I have twisted their Pirates of Penzance song to "I am the very model of an open source sensational". Sung to the tune of "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General".

When Open Source Meets Closed Minds

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Humor

notalwaysright.com: Caller: “I need to report a very serious computer crime! The local university is running an illegal computer system!”

If Windows, Linux and OSX Opened Cafes...

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OS
Humor

daniweb.com: The New York Times reported today that Apple has opened its first Apple Store in Paris, underneath the Louvre no less, and just two weeks after Microsoft opened up a Windows 7 cafe in Paris in another location. The idea of these two companies competing in a retail environment, and especially a Windows-themed cafe, got me thinking about what would happen if three cafes opened each run in the same style of the operating system it was named for. I figure it might look something like this:

Pirated software

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Humor

dedoimedo.com: If you think I'm going to talk about the moral, legal, financial, and political implications of using software not according to various license agreements set by money-loving companies, you're wrong. Today, we will learn about little known software designed by code pirates.

What does your browser say about you? (2009 edition)

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Humor

terminally-incoherent.com: Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I posted the infamous article titled “What does your browser say about you?”. I still get comments on it but these days they are mostly among the lines of: “Dude, Firefox 2.0 is ancient! What about Chrome and IE8?” So I decided to post a short update.

DtO: Dominitrix Ad part 3

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Humor

DtO: Dominitrix Linux TV ad - take 2

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Humor

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More in Tux Machines

today's leftovers

  • [LabPlot] Improved data fitting in 2.5
    Until now, the fit parameters could in principle take any values allowed by the fit model, which would lead to a reasonable description of the data. However, sometimes the realistic regions for the parameters are known in advance and it is desirable to set some mathematical constrains on them. LabPlot provides now the possibility to define lower and/or upper bounds for the fit parameters and to limit the internal fit algorithm to these regions only.
  • [GNOME] Maps Towards 3.28
    Some work has been done since the release of 3.26 in September. On the visual side we have adapted the routing sidebar to use a similar styling as is used in Files (Nautilus) and the GTK+ filechooser.
  • MX 17 Beta 2
  • MiniDebconf in Toulouse
    I attended the MiniDebconf in Toulouse, which was hosted in the larger Capitole du Libre, a free software event with talks, presentation of associations, and a keysigning party. I didn't expect the event to be that big, and I was very impressed by its organization. Cheers to all the volunteers, it has been an amazing week-end!
  • DebConf Videoteam sprint report - day 0
    First day of the videoteam autumn sprint! Well, I say first day, but in reality it's more day 0. Even though most of us have arrived in Cambridge already, we are still missing a few people. Last year we decided to sprint in Paris because most of our video gear is stocked there. This year, we instead chose to sprint a few days before the Cambridge Mini-Debconf to help record the conference afterwards.
  • Libre Computer Board Launches Another Allwinner/Mali ARM SBC
    The Tritium is a new ARM single board computer from the Libre Computer Board project. Earlier this year the first Libre Computer Board launched as the Le Potato for trying to be a libre and free software minded ARM SBC. That board offered better specs than the Raspberry Pi 3 and aimed to be "open" though not fully due to the ARM Mali graphics not being open.
  • FOSDEM 2018 Will Be Hosting A Wayland / Mesa / Mir / X.Org Developer Room
    This year at the FOSDEM open-source/Linux event in Brussels there wasn't the usual "X.Org dev room" as it's long been referred to, but for 2018, Luc Verhaegen is stepping back up to the plate and organizing this mini graphics/X.Org developer event within FOSDEM.
  • The Social Network™ releases its data networking code
    Facebook has sent another shiver running up Cisco's spine, by releasing the code it uses for packet routing. Open/R, its now-open source routing platform, runs Facebook's backbone and data centre networks. The Social Network™ first promised to release the platform in May 2017. In the post that announced the release, Facebook said it began developing Open/R for its Terragraph wireless system, but since applied it to its global fibre network, adding: “we are even starting to roll it out into our data center fabrics, running inside FBOSS and on our Open Compute Project networking hardware like Wedge 100.”
  • Intel Icelake Support Added To LLVM Clang
    Initial support for Intel's Icelake microarchitecture that's a follow-on to Cannonlake has been added to the LLVM/Clang compiler stack. Last week came the Icelake patch to GCC and now Clang has landed its initial Icelake enablement too.
  • Microsoft's Surface Book 2 has a power problem
     

    Microsoft’s Surface Book 2 has a power problem. When operating at peak performance, it may draw more power than its stock charger or Surface Dock can handle. What we’ve discovered after talking to Microsoft is that it’s not a bug—it’s a feature.

Kernel: Linux 4.15 and Intel

  • The Big Changes So Far For The Linux 4.15 Kernel - Half Million New Lines Of Code So Far
    We are now through week one of two for the merge window of the Linux 4.15 kernel. If you are behind on your Phoronix reading with the many feature recaps provided this week of the different pull requests, here's a quick recap of the changes so far to be found with Linux 4.15:
  • Intel 2017Q3 Graphics Stack Recipe Released
    Intel's Open-Source Technology Center has put out their quarterly Linux graphics driver stack upgrade in what they are calling the latest recipe. As is the case with the open-source graphics drivers just being one centralized, universal component to be easily installed everywhere, their graphics stack recipe is just the picked versions of all the source components making up their driver.
  • Intel Ironlake Receives Patches For RC6 Power Savings
    Intel Ironlake "Gen 5" graphics have been around for seven years now since being found in Clarkdale and Arrandale processors while finally now the patches are all worked out for enabling RC6 power-savings support under Linux.

Red Hat: OpenStack and Financial News

Security: Google and Morgan Marquis-Boire

  • Google: 25 per cent of black market passwords can access accounts

    The researchers used Google's proprietary data to see whether or not stolen passwords could be used to gain access to user accounts, and found that an estimated 25 per cent of the stolen credentials can successfully be used by cyber crooks to gain access to functioning Google accounts.

  • Data breaches, phishing, or malware? Understanding the risks of stolen credentials

    Drawing upon Google as a case study, we find 7--25\% of exposed passwords match a victim's Google account.

  • Infosec star accused of sexual assault booted from professional affiliations
    A well-known computer security researcher, Morgan Marquis-Boire, has been publicly accused of sexual assault. On Sunday, The Verge published a report saying that it had spoken with 10 women across North America and Marquis-Boire's home country of New Zealand who say that they were assaulted by him in episodes going back years. A woman that The Verge gave the pseudonym "Lila," provided The Verge with "both a chat log and a PGP signed and encrypted e-mail from Morgan Marquis-Boire. In the e-mail, he apologizes at great length for a terrible but unspecified wrong. And in the chat log, he explicitly confesses to raping and beating her in the hotel room in Toronto, and also confesses to raping multiple women in New Zealand and Australia."